It’s official. Junk food is almost as addictive as heroin! And no I’m not being provocative just for the hell of it. (Provocative therapists should never be gratuitously provocative.) No, the men in the white coats with bad news this time are neurobiologists, Dr Paul Johnson and Dr Paul Kenny. The Daily Telegraph reports today how cutting edge rat-based research begun by Johnson at Guys Hospital London and continued in better weather at Florida Scripps Research Unit has shown that  ‘ brains may react in the same way to junk food as they do to drugs.’

Now let’s see what the Dr Pauls’ experiments on rats (a species with a huge overlap of DNA with humans as well as many other scientifically useful psychological similarities) tell us about addiction to Big Macs and other so-called junk food.

The long-toothed rodents were divided into three groups.

Group I: Normal amounts of health food.

Group II: Normal amounts of junk food (including ‘fatty meat products’ and ‘cheap’ (ie. Good value in the recession) ‘sponge cake.’ Yum-yum…

Group III: Same as II but in unlimited amounts.

The men in white coats found that the rats in Groups I and II were fine but Group III’s rats became binge eaters and quickly obese – addiction!  In an important announcement, Kenny revealed that ‘this is the most complete evidence to date that suggests obesity and drug-addiction have common neuro-biological foundations.’

I call on readers to resist all calls for increased tax and EU health warnings (including photographs of fat children and fat rats) on all junk food!

The Australian doctor Ainsley Meares was wrong when he wrote in A Way of Doctoring:

We learned great truths

Before the age of statistics

And we sensed where to go

Without rats to lead us.

As a concerned MD specializing in Provocative Therapy, it is my duty to inform you that the rat has much to teach the human about survival in adverse conditions. In the interests of the survival of the human race, I urge you to be as RATional as possible in your eating habits.

Good News!: A McDonalds restaurant will open next month at The Louvre in Paris. Cheap, tasty and scientifically proven addictive American junk food and the Mona Lisa available at The International Temple of Fine Arts – that’s what I call choice. As a devoted supporter of The French Revolution (Liberté, égalité, fraternité!) and the Constitution of the USA (Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!) all I can say is: “I’m lovin’ it!”.

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People love to mock men who  buy Porches when they enter middle age. Common ways of belittling these guys is to mutter things like ‘mid-life crisis’ or ‘male menopause’. Well it turns out that fast cars, especially fast red cars really are good for the health of middle-aged men!

There is now evidence for this and it comes from the men in white coats at Concordia University in Montreul.  In the study 39 men were invited to drive two different cars for an hour, a sexy Porsche 911 Carrera Cabriolet and a less than sexy 16 year old Toyota Camry. While driving the Porche, testosterone levels were significantly (‘significant’ is a very important word for men in white coats) elevated while the old Camry either did nothing or decreased levels of this important male hormone. Healthy testosterone levels are not only good for libido, they actually prolong life.

Now here is another free health tip: If you are going to buy a testosterone-boosting car – the colour to go for is probably red. Football teams with red jerseys do better (sorry Roman Abramovich but there really are some things money cannot buy) so don’t take any chances and buy a red sports car. Actually this new evidence-based research has convinced me that the perfect car for my personal health is an Aston Martin DBS Infa Red. Initially I baulked a bit at the price – £105 000 – but then I remembered some wise advice given to me by my mother: “When it comes to health, you cannot afford to buy anything but the best.” Health is wealth dear reader, health is wealth

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Could sperm be the secret elixir of eternal youth?

With more and more talk of prolonging life to 100 and beyond, doctors may feel under increasing pressure to be able to deliver what the media promise. Clerics are in trouble too: Why talk eschatologically about life after death when it might be possible to live forever here and now on Earth?

As everyone agrees, quality as well as quantity of life matters too. So as many middle-aged people realise the truth of Wilde’s truism -‘Youth is wasted on the young’- anti-ageing has always been a growth industry. There is news today of a major breakthrough: The men in white coats in Austria think they’ve found something in sperm that could keeps us youthful! However it will be decades before the exact youth-preserving ingredient of sperm will be identified, isolated and most importantly – marketed.

So the question the chattering classes are asking is: How can we use this information now?

Warning! Do not think this is a license for unprotected sex which obviously could have quite the opposite of the desired effect!

This news needs to be seen in the context of more evidence-based information from scientists in America that showed that women who had regular sex were happier than those that did not (tell me something new) but only very marginally happier if their partners used a condom. At the risk of appearing distinctly ‘uncool’, do I see possible evidence (and anyone reading this blog knows how much our society loves and demands evidence) emerging that suggests that women choosing to have really healthy sex only in a committed relationship may not only be happier but actually stay younger?

My colleagues in plastic surgery assure me that there is no truth that local application of the source of the alleged new elixir keeps the facial complexion youthful. They still prefer botox and surgery but they would say that wouldn’t they?

And even if you can’t actually get younger, looking younger is at least a start. Which reminds me of my appointment with a hair transplanter later today…

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This newly re-loaded site will publish useful medical information as well as strong opinions on current medical issues. I will not be shy to confront the more controversial issues of our time and will be happy to publish your comments on any article posted on the site.

I make no bones about being passionate and opinionated about health and medicine. I support and practise whole person orientated medicine and use a variety of medical tools in my practice. These include all the tools of conventional medicine as well as Provocative Therapy, Homeopathy and Autogenic Therapy.

Conventional Medicine:
I certainly did not endure a tough 6 year medical school programme for nothing! Orthodox medical diagnosis and treatment are vital in modern medicine and I will continue to use the principles and practices of conventional medicine whenever I feel they are in the best interest of my patients. Whatever I write here about Provocative Therapy, Homeopathy, Autogenic Therapy and whole person medicine in general should never be taken as disrespect for the fine achievements of conventional scientific medicine.

Homeopathy:
I believe homeopathic medicines are useful, safe and help patients get better quite independent of suggestion or placebo effect. I will defend homeopathy against the attacks of its detractors in the medical profession and popular media. To those particular detractors that deride homeopathy for not being ‘evidence based’ I say that I disagree with your interpretation of the available data and more importantly I say that huge swathes of orthodox medical interventions are far from evidence based. And I have evidence for saying this. Just look at this pie published by the British Medical Journal’s Clinical Evidence!

I will not hesitate to throw this pie in the face of anyone who attacks homeopathy for not being evidence based. People in glass houses really shouldn’t throw stones nor be surprised when their targets gently throw pies in their faces!

Autogenic Therapy:
Stress is a huge factor in medicine yet doctors seldom actually train patients how to release stress and stress-proof themselves. If there was one change I could make to Britain’s NHS it would be to set up an Autogenic clinic in the waiting room of every GP every night. The impact this would make on the health of the nation would be something truly wondrous and it all would be totally cost-effective.

Provocative Therapy:
The cutting edge of the use of clinical reverse psychology and humour in medicine, Provocative Therapy will feature prominently in posts on this site. I believe Provocative Therapy to be a joyous and wonderful form of brief psychotherapy that works quickly and is very cost-effective. On this site, I’ll often use some of the tools of Provocative Therapy to ‘treat’ some of the current issues of the day.

Guest Articles:
I am more than happy to publish guest articles. A patient of mine was so frustrated by what was being said about NHS homeopathy, he researched its cost effectiveness in detail. I was so impressed by his meticulously written article that I’ve published on this site in full. People need to know this sort of information and I’ll be delighted publish material of this quality.

Humour:
Joy, temperance, and repose,
Slam the door on the doctor’s nose.
Thus spake the poet Longfellow.

Temperance: We get helpful advice all over the place these days. People don’t like patronising advice but that won’t stop the ‘authorities’ telling us to eat moderately, that alcoholic drinks ‘all add up’, to eat and drink ‘sensibly’ etc. Not that I disagree of course. I just don’t think people respond well to unsolicited advice that they may well find condescending and patronising. Temperance in most things is important but I think humour is  a much better tool of getting the message across than either dour advice or fear mongering.

Repose: Autogenic Therapy is my prescription.

Joy: Yes, joy and happiness are not only important qualities of life, they are actually good for your health. Laughter has important health benefits (see Kaplan’s Mnemonic) and the reverse psychology of Provocative Therapy often lead to hilarious moments in consultations. It can be a joyous moment when you finally get the inner joke of how you are keeping yourself in a state of almost happiness and that you can prescribe the solution to your problem!

Humour and Joy often go together as is evidence by the smiling faces of joyous people. I’ll try to keep things light and joyous on this site. There is enough seriously heavy stuff on the internet so I will try not to add to it.

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